Saturday, January 03, 2004

Mars Rover safely lands! - Rover touches down on Mars - Jan. 4, 2004
Really exciting news from the red Planet. Our boy Mars has again welcomed a visitor. I can't wait to find out what this mission learns to add to the sum of human knowledge. It could be mind-blowing. Oh how I would love to visit Mars! If I was given a 50-50 chance of making it, I'd be suited up in the morning.

196 days left until July 17

Corn Flakes & Cat Food
Might not sound like a yummy mix to you, but my rats love it!

Electric toothbrushes
It would have been a long time before I got one of those for myself, but Laura got one, and then decided it was not a good thing with her brand spankin' new tongue piercing, so she offered it to me. I love it! I don't think I'll go back. Probably the best couple of toothbrushings I've ever given myself. I feel all polished and shit. If you've never tried one, Crest makes one for like $6. I especially liked it with the Tom's liquid cinnimint.

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Right-wing body jewelry
Okay - I'm puzzled by this. I admit I understand little of the appeal of right-wing-anything, but I just don't get right-wing body jewelry. I mean, if you're conservative enough to wear a Dale Earnhart / USA flag / confederate flag / sorority letters type piece of body jewelry, aren't you too conservative to be pierced? Fucking stop pretending to be tolerent and accepting, you fucking Republicans! I should be able to tell a girl's politics from the fact that she has her labret pierced - don't twist up my world view by putting your "I love Fox News" body jewelry in. (BTW - I only know this stuff exists from doing ebay searches for body jewelry - I've never actually seen it on somebody, but i don't come into contact with conservatives very often, thankfully.)

This 2004 thing kinda sucks so far. It's all hangovers and crap. And my friend still hasn't emailed me about yet another offer for free margaritas. yeah, I know. But those margaritas really kick ass.

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

My contribution to the economy of Mexico
Just swung by the liquor store and purchased bottles of Tequila and Coffee Liquor. Both Hecho en Mexico. Come by my house tonight and have margaritas and white Russians. Or as Jeffrey Lebowski has permanently dubbed them: caucasians. Except mine will have real half & half instead of non-dairy creamer. Anyway - happy freakin New Year's!

New Year's thoughts on calendars
January 1 on the Gregorian Calendar was pegged to the winter solstice, but due to inaccuracies over time, the solstice migrated 10 or so days. We celebrate New Year's on January 1 now instead of the Solstice. Go figure. When the Christian missionaries convinced everyone that it was in their best interest to be Christian, they took the pagan solstice of rebirth and said that it was in fact the anniversary of their Christ's birth. That Jesus of Nazereth was born in the Springtime was not known to those missionaries and was secondary to highjacking the solstice holiday anyway. They too pegged Christmas at the Solstice, but because of inaccuracies in the Gregorian Calendar, it too migrated about four days.

We are now faced with the Pagans celebrating the solstice on the solstice, Christian tradition celebrating it four days later, and modern western society celebrating it seven days after that. Interesting and foolish, yes - but it gives us two weeks of Winter Solstice celebrating, which is totally needed when the days are so ridiculously short. It will be almost totally dark by 5:00 PM today.

Wishing you all no terrorists and a Happy New Year!

More Royal problems: the ongoing drama of the Queen's bitches - New royal dog attack revealed - Dec. 31, 2003
Princess Anne's dog attacks! Nutty bull terrier at it again - this time munching on a servant (just like Prince Charles!) Now word yet on whether the dog, or any of the Royal family, will have to be euthenized over these latest incidents.

Monday, December 29, 2003

Okay, this is kind of amazing - FBI urges police to watch for people carrying almanacs - Dec. 29, 2003
The stated purpose is to help make local police more suspicious of people they pull over who have perfectly innocent materials in their car. I didn't know cops needed to be more suspicious. Fucking lovely. What a freedom loving bunch we Americans must be to let our governmnet get away with this shit.

If someone is paying attention to the world around them, rather than going to the Mall or other societally beneficial activity, they shall be incarcerated. Reading the news is something terrorists do, so anyone with a newspaper should be watched carefully by law enforcement. Terrorists frequently drive gas-efficient vehicles to save money to buy bombs and stuff, so only SUV drivers shall be considered trustworthy Americans. I love my government.